I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
