What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
