what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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