Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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