He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize