I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i believe in u and ur pee
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