If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
we made out on top of his cat.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
