Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
