I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
