I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
