Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize
