dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
