if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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