I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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