If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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