On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
