I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
