Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
