And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize