so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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