she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
