she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
