I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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