found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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