Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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