So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
