In the future we'll all be gay
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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