I heard we made out
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
