Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize