Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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