like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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