I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
