I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
