this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
