he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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