I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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