do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
