summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
