He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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