that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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