ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
