u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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