i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
