I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
