thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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