it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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