If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
there is puke in my bra ... again
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize