Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
