I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
