she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
