i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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