in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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