you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
