I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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