i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
