I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
