omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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