I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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