Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize