How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
