He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
