This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
