We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
