I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
