You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
