For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You ate ashes out of my bong
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize