I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
