But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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