I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
