you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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