Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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